Thursday, October 30, 2008

Oh What a Feeling

Last night I went to vote! What a feeling that I walked into the Satellite Voting location and saw the line that snaked its way to the back door I was a bit overwhelmed. It was 6 p.m. I had to be in class at 7:30; my thought process was to wait in line until 7:30 and see how far I got before I made the decision to stay or go. Luckily, the line moved pretty quickly and I was out of there by 6:45.

Standing at the "booth" with the touch screen in front of me, I had many emotions running through me...fear (not wanting to hit the wrong button), excitement (ready for change) and pride (what a great honor to vote). As I touched the button for my candidate tears welled up in my eyes. This truly is a historical event and I feel privileged to part of it. I thought about the time when women were not allowed to vote, when blacks were not allowed to vote. I thought about Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" would he feel if he were alive today?

This is such a powerful election for me because my children could actually have the opportunity to live in a country run by someone that looks like them, comes from the same cultural background as them and relates to their economic status.

It's no secret who I voted for and I'm quite proud to say that I believe in Barack Obama and what he can do for our country. If elected his presidency will change the face of America in many ways. I never thought I would live to see a day when a woman or someone other than a staunchy old white guy would run the country, but I feel that time has come and I am excited to be part of the process.

Counting down to election day...GO OBAMA!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Never ceases to amaze me

I just got an email from my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Sunday. Today I got the pictures...and the miracle of birth never ceases to amaze me. I'm always in awe that it takes only nine months to produce a perfect little being. Nine months?? From conception to birth...absolutely amazing.

As L and W are growing up and I watch them sleep peacefully in their beds at night, I am still in awe. L with her angelic ringlet curls, her cute little nose and the slight snoring that she does. (Poor baby with all her allergies). W who towers over me and I think has gained at least 3 inches in height due to his hair, sleeps peacefully and still sucks his thumb on occasion. (Of course he would kill me if he knew I was writing this...luckily I don't think any of his friends know I have a blog).

I am often so overwhelmed by work, household chores and homework of my own that I feel as though I am not being a good parent. Sometimes I get mad at little things and then I am full of regret. This weekend L cut a piece of my fabric to make an outfit for her little stuffed animal; instead of praising her creativity I was mad that she went into my bin and cut a jagged piece off of a perfectly good yard of fabric. Why??? I'm not sure...maybe because I was an only child, and I still have that mentality that somethings are "MINE". I don't know, but even now 4 days later I can't help but feel incredibly guilty and remorseful. L of course has moved on and keeps reminding me how many days are left until Halloween and "aren't you excited mommy"...Of course I am!! I can't wait to get her dressed up in her costume and take her trick-or-treating. The excitement that she has is adorable, and even though I know it will be freezing...I can't wait to see her little face light up as we head out and knock on that first door.

Eventhough I am overwhelmed and often have feelings of guilt that there are better mommies out there...I am so proud when I look at my two beautiful blessings. The other day when leaving the doctors office, W held the door for an elderly man...I didn't have remind him to do it, he just did it. Last night at dinner L asked the waitress for another spoon "please", I didn't have to remind her. To know that we have raised polite, loving children makes me proud.

I still feel guilty and worry if I am a "good" mom...I don't know if there is a foolproof answer to that. My kids are loved and KNOW they are loved, I spend quality time with them, I try to spend time with them individually as well as together. I laugh with them, I joke with them, we play games together, we listen to music together, we draw together and I tell them every day how much I love them and how proud I am of their accomplishments.

Having a teenager is no picnic - I'll tell you that up front, but W is a GOOD teenager (so He is an honor roll student, an excellent athlete, polite, respectful and a little spoiled. L is spirited, artistic, a great student, super creative and also polite, respectful and a little spoiled. I guess you can suffice it to say; of all the jobs I have...being a mom is the most difficult, but also the most rewarding!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Please Hold....

OMG...I called DC Government to ask what I thought was a simple question "have our licenses been renewed yet?" and this is what transpired:

Me: Hi I'm calling from xyz Company to find out if our W&M renewal license has been sent out?

DC: Oh, this is the inspection department, you will have to call the processing department, that number is 202-blah blah blah. I can transfer you if you like?

Me: Thanks! (This is where things start to go downhill)

DC: There are 2 calls ahead of you do you want to hold? (As if I actually have a choice)

Me: Ok - before I get out the words "ok", I am already on hold (thanks for asking...NOT)

DC: This is Ms. So & So, what is the purpose of your call?

Me: Hi I'm calling from xyz Company to find out if our W&M renewal license has been sent out?

DC: What kind of license?

Me: W&M

DC: Ohhhh, what is your application number?

Me: 11111111

DC: What was that again?

Me: 11111111

DC: What are you calling about again?

Me: Our license

DC: What about it?

Me: Was it sent out?

DC: I can't answer that, let me transfer you to Mrs. So&So

Me: OK!

Mrs. So & So: What is the purpose of your call?

Me: (at this point I am really trying to be polite) I repeat my "purpose" for the THIRD time.

Mrs: What is the address?

Me: 1244 Main Street

Mrs: Your license is expired

Me: Right, I'm calling to find out if our "new" one was sent out

Mrs: We haven't sent out a new license

Me: Do you know when it will be sent?

Mrs: I don't know...we are still processing them everyday.

Me: Did you receive our application?

Mrs: I don't know, you didn't ask me that, you'll have to hold.

Me: Well, since it's been almost a month and you're still processing applications, I would like to know if you even HAVE our application. Is that possible?

Mrs: (snippy) Hold on, I will have to go look it up.....Yes we have your application.

Me: The license will be sent to our _______ address, right? Because last year they were sent to the wrong address.

Mrs: They should be sent to that address, but I can't guarantee it

Me: (very confused at this point) Well, if that's the address that is listed on the application, shouldn't it go there?

Mrs: Like I said, it should, but I can't guarantee it.

Me: Oh do you know when the application will be processed

Mrs: No, I do not, but we are processing applications everyday

Me: Oh ok, uh Thanks


Now, my first mistake was calling DC Government at 3:30 since no-one really wants to get too involved in anything before they are getting ready to leave. My second mistake was, I don't know....calling DC Govt in the first place??

If you ever have to deal with DC Govt, all I can offer you is "Good Luck"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How many Xanax in a bottle...

Okay, so either I am stressing out too much over "unknown" things, I'm getting old or I need to start my HRT again!! Thursday I tossed and turned and sat-up and thought my flesh was going to catch on fire and melt off my body. Friday - rinse & repeat. Saturday - rinse & repeat...BUT this time...I had indegestion (I think)...not only was my flesh on fire, but I felt like someone had shoved a potato down my throat and poured hot sauce on it.

So, then Sunday I had the great idea of taking a Xanax before I went to bed. But since I don't have a bed time and I am clearly not disciplined enough to go to sleep when I feel tired...what should I do? Well, I decided around 11:30 to take my Xanax and by 12:30 I was sound asleep...until 3:00 when I woke up with the flesh on fire, potato covered in hot sauce feeling again!! UGH!!

At that point I look over at my DH who is sleeping so peaceful, so peaceful in fact that I wanted to smother him with the fucking pillow!! Or beat him with it until the feathers flew out and stuck in my hair! How can anyone go to sleep that easily and peacefully!! Bastard!

So, after watching TV, surfing the net, reading my book, yelling at the wee one to get her arse in bed cuz "I hear that DS game you are playing", watching more TV, taking a Xanax, watching more TV, taking another Xanax...I


feel asleep, and wouldn't u know ass was late for work this morning!!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

What a game!!!

Wow! Last night, W's team played their rival and undefeated opponent in what I think has been the best game of the season. Despite being down one player (down to 13) and losing another great player to an injury before halftime (shit, now we are down to 12), the boys rallied around each other and gave it their all!! Those boys played their arses off!! The parents for both sides cheered and rooted for their team, but in the end....we kicked their butts!! Whooo Hooo!! (Yeah, you could say I'm a little bit of a crazy Football Mom!!)

Last night made me realize how fast the time has gone....just 8 short years ago W, started playing football and some of his equipment was almost bigger than him. Now, I look at the handsome, talented young man he has become and I wish I could hit rewind. Next year he'll be in high school and I won't be team mom for the first time in like 8 years. What will they do without me? LOL

Thinking about him being that small made me cry a little too..I still remember how scared I was when I brought him home from the hospital. What was I supposed to do with this little guy? How would I know when to feed him, change him, comfort him? Everyone tells you "you'll know", and yes they were right, but OMG that didn't make it any easier. But over time I figured it out as best I could and I think we have done a good job in raising a great young man!!
W...I am so very proud of you and LOVE you more than you can imagine!!!
Just in case you were wondering....the score was 33-12!! WHOO HOO!! GO TIGERS!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Enough Already!!

OMG!! While I luv, luv, luv this time of year..."premier weeks", can I just say "ENOUGH" already!! As if I don't cry enough these days; like every time I log on to my online banking and try to skip the Brokerage Page (yikes!!) most favoritest shows are soooooo depresssing...

Lipstick Jungle - great show, but why did Nico's husband have to die RIGHT AFTER she confessed to having an affair. And then Wendy gets fired for trying to help out her friend...okay she forged a doctors signature, but so what!!?? Hasn't everyone done that...LOL!! UGH!!!

ER - not only is it the last season of ER....EVER!!! (pass the tissues please), but why oh why did they have to kill Pratt?? And then have Morris give Bettina the engagement ring that was in his pocket...C'mom why couldn't they just let him finish his last season as Chief of the ER? Now, Abby is leaving too? I thought I cried when Dr. Greene and Dr. Carter left the show! OMG!!!

CSI - okay, Gary Dourdain...not so great in person, but as Warrick Brown - he rocks!! Why did they let him DIE in Grissom's arms? Grissom who Warrick would have picked to be his daddy. And I swear Warrick & Catherine had a little sumthin' sumthin' going on OR were about to!

The only shows that haven't made me bawl my eyes out are the "reality" shows!! Survivor and Amazing Race, which by the way are both exceptionally good this season.

Hopefully I can actually laugh on Monday when the new season of Samantha Who premiers. Christina Applegate is hyserically funny in that show!!

Look at that...I did a whole entry without using the "f" word one time...YEAH ME!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Dear Boss,

You suck!!! You are a napoleon complex havin', blood sucking leach of a little man and You Suck!! I am tired of you "barking" (no seriously, "barking") my name 1,000 times a day. (It's an office joke now and the joke's not on me...idiot!!) What are you - part bloodhound - can you fucking smell when I am 100 ft from my office and commence barking. Let me get a bloody cup of coffee first you mofo!! I don't know how many times I have to tell all the dumb mfers I work with...I AM SO NOT A MORNING PERSON!!!

Have you heard of "you get what you pay for"...well buddy, you might want to tape it to your mirror and look at it every day until I get a fucking pay increase!'s been two years since ANYONE in our office has had a pay increase and guess what...We KNOW the company is making money...fucker!!

All I hear is be patient, wait for this deal to come through, wait for me to send money to Africa, wait for me to buy a new car for my relative, wait for me to donate money to every cocksucking person running for office in the Great Nations Capital, wait for me to buy laptops for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....MY PATIENCE HAS RUN OUT BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

How about next time you want your report...STAT...(BTW...that's a medical term and you are so not a DOCTOR) be patient and wait for me to finish chit chatting with my BFF and BESTEST Admin Assistant in the whole effing world (that has been instructed to stay out of my office....BOOOOO!!!), how 'bout you be patient while I actually drink a hot cup of coffee for once, how 'bout you be patient while I am talking on the phone (and stop barking my name while I'm doing it)....huh, how 'BOUT that!! You greedy little bald bastard!!!

You think you have me by the balls 'cause I have flexibility and oh yeah the job market sucks??? Well flexibility isn't worth my dignity and guess what...I could royaly fuck up your company for a few weeks....delete, delete, delete....How do your balls feel in my hand now? Not to mention...I could get me one of them lawyers and sue your short ass for LOTS of things!! Muy ha ha ha ha!! (evil laugh)

BTW, speaking of Lawyers...THREE of the attorneys we work with have offered me jobs....don't be so sure of yourself that I won't jump on one of those opportunities...(fuck, the idea of driving to DC makes me batty...OH WELL).

Anyways, I just wanted you to know what a greedy, scum sucking, bastard you are. I'll be expecting 6 months of severance pay, four weeks of leave, my trip to the bahamas for me and my children, my two **P bonuses, my two annual bonuses, a pay increase for the past to years, $500 in gas cards, a new car and also you WILL continue to pay my health insurance for me and the fam for like the next year and a half, right?? That shouldn't be an issue...Oh and when VEC sends you notice...don't even THINK about denying me my unemployment benefits that I will be filing for....STAT! Finally, did I tell you....YOU SUCK!!!!

Signed -

Your Kick Ass Employee

P.S. I quit...and YOU still SUCK!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Mayday...Mayday...Losing Control

You know how sometimes you feel like you have NO CONTROL over a situation? Well right now, I feel like I have NO CONTROL of my LIFE! I like to think I am a good mom, a good significant other, a good friend and an asset to my employer but lately I just don't know.

For instance...I came home (in a good mood) to a stove that had grease I could write my name in, a postal box in the middle of the living room (Thanks Ebay, not for me though!), a microwave that has fingerprints all over it and bacon grease inside. WHY?? No this mess was not created by my 13 yr old nor by my 7 yr old - not even by my DH...NO, it was created by the "lodger" that seems to cause more frustration for me than anyone else in our abode! Note: Box in living room was left there by my DH.

I tried to rationally explain to my hubby that I can't, won't, don't want to tolerate this kind of behaviour from someone that is staying (almost rent free) in our home - (Okay - maybe I said "my" house a few times - OOPS! Note To Self: remember it is our house). C'mon ANY rational person would not put up with this! Then when I suggest an ACCEPTABLE rent amount be requested from said "lodger" I am looked at as if I have horns, one eye and purple hair?? WTF??? I don't get the "male buddy system" stronger that that of a relationship?

I mean I am all for helping people in their time of need (comma) BUT after 9 months (7 of which were spent in a dead-end job because said "lodger" is too good to work as a cashier or any other job that he doesn't like...(grow up now, please) it's time to own up to your responsibilities, be a man, pay rent and clean my goddamn cooking range after you use it!!! Is that too fucking much to ask??

Stay tuned...tomorrow I might give you some juicy details about my sucky job!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Dying...of boredom

HELP!! I'm bored out of my mind!! I hate staying home "resting". UGH!! Damn, doctor call me already. How ironic last week I said "I need a break", well not this kind of break. I was thinking more along the lines of DCA-NAS, NAS-GHB, little cottage, warm breeze, pink sand, snorkel, mask & fins!!

I don't have a good book to read (or one that I can read through the vicodin/phenergan glasses), Sudoku is getting boring, there is NOTHING on TV during the day...that's right I have 800 channels of NOTHING...I don't have any **FUN** projects to work on, UGH!! I'm bored!!

Sitting at the computer too long makes me writhe in pain when I get up, my fingernails are getting too long to type fast, eating makes me want to vomit...

Okay enough bitching and moaning!! I should go call the doctors office to see if my ultrasound results are in and find out if I need to go back for the TV Ultrasound that they DIDN'T do yesterday but was on my doctors orders...yeah, now who's the smart one??

So the good doctor tells me I don't have a hernia (yeah!!). I have an intestinal infection (like a tummy bug, but much worse). If I haven't improved significantly by Monday I am to call and get some antibiotics. Guess that means my couch potato days are over and it's off to work I go (after the weekend of course!!).

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Random Thoughts

Wow!! I have been away from you dear internet for far too long...let me catch you up!
Saturday started out like any normal Saturday...washing gatorade bottles and filling them up with the liquid of the gods (at least for 13/14 year old boys), showering and readying myself for FOOTBALL. But there was that nagging pain in my lower right abdomen, probably gas or something I ate last night (what did I eat??). So, off to the game...we won 39-0, then back home and oh that nagging pain is still there and now so is his friend nausea!! (She's a real bitch!!)

Off to bed I go, when 2:30 am rolls around and nausea decides to wake me up; I'll leave out all the gory details, but I DIDN'T go right back to sleep. Next day rolls around and well I'm still feeling icky, so I call mom and off we go to the ER. After being poked, proded, vomitting and the such they yank out the IV and say "good news, the ct scan is negative you can go home now". WHAT??!!! GOOD NEWS??

Yep, they sent me home with undertermined lower right abdominal can they get away with that? I followed up with the Family Doctor on Monday who now thinks it could be inguinal hernia...that sounds like a ton of fun!!

I have been home from work all week...much to the dismay of my dear hubby. Definately think I am cramping his style, but WTF...I don't really care. Of course he just looks at me like I'm being ridiculous, I mean my arm isn't hanging off or I'm not gushing blood from any open wounds, so Hey, "get back to work you!!". Now when he gets hurt or doesn't feel good...THE WHOLE ENTIRE EFFING WORLD MUST (and I mean MUST) come to a complete HALT!! Why is that??

Why is it that when a man is sick we are supposed to wait on them hand and foot? Yet, we are still expected to carry on like normal? I have an ultrasound tomorrow to find out if I busted a gut (literally) and do you think for one second I could get a little help from my hubby? No, it's my job to make arrangements for the wee one to get on the bus if I want him to drive that I say

TO HELL WITH YOU THEN, I'll get there my damn self....Hoorah for all the strong women out there!!

To my BFF ManiacalMom2...If I didn't have a hernia before today, I am sure I have one now...ur post was HYSTERICAL!!! Thanks for being there for me this week, it means alot!! Luv ya!