OMG...Has it really been that long...

Since I posted? Well, so much has happend and I have been quite busy, let's see where should I start...

1. Halloween - L was so cute in her "Glamour Witch" costume that she hated...until I told her to put it on or stay home. Once the make-up was complete I think she was a little more satisfied. Halloween was quiet this year...must be the economy.

*** Finally let W go out on his own with his friends...wasn't really comfortable with that but with much texting and calling, I finally realized that he's a responsible kid and hey he pretty much does what he's supposed to.

2. Trip to San Antonio - went down a couple days early to spend time with a dear friend that I have known since we were 12. She has had a lot of medical problems stemming from an allergic reaction to sulfa drugs...really put my life in perspective to see her. She's in wheel chair most of the time, on dialysis and really trying to maintain her independence. She has two great kids and even has custody of her cousin's daughter. They are such wonderful, loving kids. I was able to make it to A's football game and really had a great visit.

***Of course then there was the work part of San Antonio, which really wasn't all that bad. I actually had a good time at the conference and trade show. Did realize what a white, male dominant business the oil industry is...but really I knew that so don't know why I was a little shocked. (Maybe the whole Texas, cowboy hat thing??)

3. Election Night...OMG!! What a feeling! I could NOT believe it when I saw the TV screen flash "President Elect - Barack Obama" on the screen. I cried! I was speechless...and for him to win by a landslide...AMAZING! My phone was crazy with text messages for a while both friends and family. I told my son...nothing is impossible!! I'm sure inauguration week in DC is going to be a nightmare, but a welcome nightmare nontheless!!

4. Playoffs - so while I was in San Antonio the kids had their playoff game...on a Wednesday...at 8 p.m...and they lost 14-6 :-( I was sad and my son was plenty upset. But I'm very proud of the leadership qualities he showed this season and the great athlete that he is becoming.

5. Team party planning - Ok this is a subject for another post....what a fucking disaster this is becoming...THANK goodness the party is this Saturday so I can be done with this shite!!

6. And...to top it all off...I have bronchitis for the second time this year!! I just finished the "z-pack" and am still coughing like a fool. Guess, I will be going back to the Dr. for some stronger antibiotics, damn, damn, damn!! I hate having chronic bronchitis.

7. OMFG...how could I FORGET...our lodger, cellar dweller, couch lizard, low-paying "friend" has FINALLY moved out!!! He left Saturday to go back home to mom...I felt bad for a little while, but it's really the best thing for everyone!!

8. Lastly...(I swear this is it)...W's poor leopard gecko, Lenny, died. Not sure what happend, he was sluggish for a day or two then this morning I woke up and he was just gone. I admit I cried, he really was a cool little guy! W is crushed, I could hear it in his voice when he called me after school. We will miss him....

I will have to post pictures from my San Antonio trip later. I really must try to keep up with my blog since it's rather therapeutic.

Oh What a Feeling

Last night I went to vote! What a feeling that was...as I walked into the Satellite Voting location and saw the line that snaked its way to the back door I was a bit overwhelmed. It was 6 p.m. I had to be in class at 7:30; my thought process was to wait in line until 7:30 and see how far I got before I made the decision to stay or go. Luckily, the line moved pretty quickly and I was out of there by 6:45.

Standing at the "booth" with the touch screen in front of me, I had many emotions running through me...fear (not wanting to hit the wrong button), excitement (ready for change) and pride (what a great honor to vote). As I touched the button for my candidate tears welled up in my eyes. This truly is a historical event and I feel privileged to part of it. I thought about the time when women were not allowed to vote, when blacks were not allowed to vote. I thought about Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speach...how would he feel if he were alive today?

This is such a powerful election for me because my children could actually have the opportunity to live in a country run by someone that looks like them, comes from the same cultural background as them and relates to their economic status.

It's no secret who I voted for and I'm quite proud to say that I believe in Barack Obama and what he can do for our country. If elected his presidency will change the face of America in many ways. I never thought I would live to see a day when a woman or someone other than a staunchy old white guy would run the country, but I feel that time has come and I am excited to be part of the process.

Counting down to election day...GO OBAMA!!

Never ceases to amaze me

I just got an email from my Aunt...my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Sunday. Today I got the pictures...and the miracle of birth never ceases to amaze me. I'm always in awe that it takes only nine months to produce a perfect little being. Nine months?? From conception to birth...absolutely amazing.

As L and W are growing up and I watch them sleep peacefully in their beds at night, I am still in awe. L with her angelic ringlet curls, her cute little nose and the slight snoring that she does. (Poor baby with all her allergies). W who towers over me and I think has gained at least 3 inches in height due to his hair, sleeps peacefully and still sucks his thumb on occasion. (Of course he would kill me if he knew I was writing this...luckily I don't think any of his friends know I have a blog).

I am often so overwhelmed by work, household chores and homework of my own that I feel as though I am not being a good parent. Sometimes I get mad at little things and then I am full of regret. This weekend L cut a piece of my fabric to make an outfit for her little stuffed animal; instead of praising her creativity I was mad that she went into my bin and cut a jagged piece off of a perfectly good yard of fabric. Why??? I'm not sure...maybe because I was an only child, and I still have that mentality that somethings are "MINE". I don't know, but even now 4 days later I can't help but feel incredibly guilty and remorseful. L of course has moved on and keeps reminding me how many days are left until Halloween and "aren't you excited mommy"...Of course I am!! I can't wait to get her dressed up in her costume and take her trick-or-treating. The excitement that she has is adorable, and even though I know it will be freezing...I can't wait to see her little face light up as we head out and knock on that first door.

Eventhough I am overwhelmed and often have feelings of guilt that there are better mommies out there...I am so proud when I look at my two beautiful blessings. The other day when leaving the doctors office, W held the door for an elderly man...I didn't have remind him to do it, he just did it. Last night at dinner L asked the waitress for another spoon "please", I didn't have to remind her. To know that we have raised polite, loving children makes me proud.

I still feel guilty and worry if I am a "good" mom...I don't know if there is a foolproof answer to that. My kids are loved and KNOW they are loved, I spend quality time with them, I try to spend time with them individually as well as together. I laugh with them, I joke with them, we play games together, we listen to music together, we draw together and I tell them every day how much I love them and how proud I am of their accomplishments.

Having a teenager is no picnic - I'll tell you that up front, but W is a GOOD teenager (so far...lol). He is an honor roll student, an excellent athlete, polite, respectful and a little spoiled. L is spirited, artistic, a great student, super creative and also polite, respectful and a little spoiled. I guess you can suffice it to say; of all the jobs I have...being a mom is the most difficult, but also the most rewarding!!

Please Hold....

OMG...I called DC Government to ask what I thought was a simple question "have our licenses been renewed yet?" and this is what transpired:

Me: Hi I'm calling from xyz Company to find out if our W&M renewal license has been sent out?

DC: Oh, this is the inspection department, you will have to call the processing department, that number is 202-blah blah blah. I can transfer you if you like?

Me: Thanks! (This is where things start to go downhill)

DC: There are 2 calls ahead of you do you want to hold? (As if I actually have a choice)

Me: Ok - before I get out the words "ok", I am already on hold (thanks for asking...NOT)

DC: This is Ms. So & So, what is the purpose of your call?

Me: Hi I'm calling from xyz Company to find out if our W&M renewal license has been sent out?

DC: What kind of license?

Me: W&M

DC: Ohhhh, what is your application number?

Me: 11111111

DC: What was that again?

Me: 11111111

DC: What are you calling about again?

Me: Our license

DC: What about it?

Me: Was it sent out?

DC: I can't answer that, let me transfer you to Mrs. So&So

Me: OK!

Mrs. So & So: What is the purpose of your call?

Me: (at this point I am really trying to be polite) I repeat my "purpose" for the THIRD time.

Mrs: What is the address?

Me: 1244 Main Street

Mrs: Your license is expired

Me: Right, I'm calling to find out if our "new" one was sent out

Mrs: We haven't sent out a new license

Me: Do you know when it will be sent?

Mrs: I don't know...we are still processing them everyday.

Me: Did you receive our application?

Mrs: I don't know, you didn't ask me that, you'll have to hold.

Me: Well, since it's been almost a month and you're still processing applications, I would like to know if you even HAVE our application. Is that possible?

Mrs: (snippy) Hold on, I will have to go look it up.....Yes we have your application.

Me: The license will be sent to our _______ address, right? Because last year they were sent to the wrong address.

Mrs: They should be sent to that address, but I can't guarantee it

Me: (very confused at this point) Well, if that's the address that is listed on the application, shouldn't it go there?

Mrs: Like I said, it should, but I can't guarantee it.

Me: Oh ok...so do you know when the application will be processed

Mrs: No, I do not, but we are processing applications everyday

Me: Oh ok, uh Thanks

CLICK

Now, my first mistake was calling DC Government at 3:30 since no-one really wants to get too involved in anything before they are getting ready to leave. My second mistake was, I don't know....calling DC Govt in the first place??

If you ever have to deal with DC Govt, all I can offer you is "Good Luck"

How many Xanax in a bottle...

Okay, so either I am stressing out too much over "unknown" things, I'm getting old or I need to start my HRT again!! Thursday I tossed and turned and sat-up and thought my flesh was going to catch on fire and melt off my body. Friday - rinse & repeat. Saturday - rinse & repeat...BUT this time...I had indegestion (I think)...not only was my flesh on fire, but I felt like someone had shoved a potato down my throat and poured hot sauce on it.

So, then Sunday I had the great idea of taking a Xanax before I went to bed. But since I don't have a bed time and I am clearly not disciplined enough to go to sleep when I feel tired...what should I do? Well, I decided around 11:30 to take my Xanax and by 12:30 I was sound asleep...until 3:00 when I woke up with the flesh on fire, potato covered in hot sauce feeling again!! UGH!!

At that point I look over at my DH who is sleeping so peaceful, so peaceful in fact that I wanted to smother him with the fucking pillow!! Or beat him with it until the feathers flew out and stuck in my hair! How can anyone go to sleep that easily and peacefully!! Bastard!

So, after watching TV, surfing the net, reading my book, yelling at the wee one to get her arse in bed cuz "I hear that DS game you are playing", watching more TV, taking a Xanax, watching more TV, taking another Xanax...I

finally.

feel asleep, and wouldn't u know it...my ass was late for work this morning!!

What a game!!!

Wow! Last night, W's team played their rival and undefeated opponent in what I think has been the best game of the season. Despite being down one player (down to 13) and losing another great player to an injury before halftime (shit, now we are down to 12), the boys rallied around each other and gave it their all!! Those boys played their arses off!! The parents for both sides cheered and rooted for their team, but in the end....we kicked their butts!! Whooo Hooo!! (Yeah, you could say I'm a little bit of a crazy Football Mom!!)

Last night made me realize how fast the time has gone....just 8 short years ago W, started playing football and some of his equipment was almost bigger than him. Now, I look at the handsome, talented young man he has become and I wish I could hit rewind. Next year he'll be in high school and I won't be team mom for the first time in like 8 years. What will they do without me? LOL

Thinking about him being that small made me cry a little too..I still remember how scared I was when I brought him home from the hospital. What was I supposed to do with this little guy? How would I know when to feed him, change him, comfort him? Everyone tells you "you'll know", and yes they were right, but OMG that didn't make it any easier. But over time I figured it out as best I could and I think we have done a good job in raising a great young man!!

W...I am so very proud of you and LOVE you more than you can imagine!!!

Just in case you were wondering....the score was 33-12!! WHOO HOO!! GO TIGERS!!

Enough Already!!

OMG!! While I luv, luv, luv this time of year..."premier weeks", can I just say "ENOUGH" already!! As if I don't cry enough these days; like every time I log on to my online banking and try to skip the Brokerage Page (yikes!!)...my most favoritest shows are soooooo depresssing...

Lipstick Jungle - great show, but why did Nico's husband have to die RIGHT AFTER she confessed to having an affair. And then Wendy gets fired for trying to help out her friend...okay she forged a doctors signature, but so what!!?? Hasn't everyone done that...LOL!! UGH!!!

ER - not only is it the last season of ER....EVER!!! (pass the tissues please), but why oh why did they have to kill Pratt?? And then have Morris give Bettina the engagement ring that was in his pocket...C'mom why couldn't they just let him finish his last season as Chief of the ER? Now, Abby is leaving too? I thought I cried when Dr. Greene and Dr. Carter left the show! OMG!!!

CSI - okay, Gary Dourdain...not so great in person, but as Warrick Brown - he rocks!! Why did they let him DIE in Grissom's arms? Grissom who Warrick would have picked to be his daddy. And I swear Warrick & Catherine had a little sumthin' sumthin' going on OR were about to!

The only shows that haven't made me bawl my eyes out are the "reality" shows!! Survivor and Amazing Race, which by the way are both exceptionally good this season.

Hopefully I can actually laugh on Monday when the new season of Samantha Who premiers. Christina Applegate is hyserically funny in that show!!

Look at that...I did a whole entry without using the "f" word one time...YEAH ME!!